Goodbye
by Ayumi Elric
Summary: Basically, it's a oneshot about how Ed feels about his mother's death through the first couple of days. In ED'S pov. Rated only because I like the letter...in memory of a great Risembool Ranger.


**-In memory of a loved Ranger. We'll miss you.-**

---

_An angelface smiles to me  
Under a headline of tragedy  
That smile used to give me warmth  
Farewell - no words to say  
beside the cross on your grave  
and those forever burning candles_

-

Watching my mom die right before my eyes tore my heart apart. There's so many things that I wish I could do, things I wish I _did_ do before she left me and Al. I wish I said more to comfort her as her spirit left us. I wish...that I could've told her I loved her one more time. But I can't. I can't turn back time, it's impossible. The only thing I can do now is talk to her grave...

-

_Closing your eyes to disappear  
You pray your dreams will leave you here  
But still you wake and know the truth  
No one's there_

_-_

The first night was the worse. Al had cried himself to sleep. He could never stop the tears from flowing, and I couldn't say anything to comfort him. I was never good at that, really. _She_ always had the right thing to say to make us feel better. But she were the one making him cry...she could never comfort us again...

-

_In my hands  
A legacy of memories  
I can hear you say my name  
I can almost see your smile  
Feel the warmth of your embrace  
But there is nothing but silence now  
Around the one I loved  
Is this our farewell?_

_-_

I still can't stand that fact that she's dead. I feel like nothing without her. It's an unreal feeling knowing I'll never be able to see her or talk to her again. When I'd come home she won't be there to welcome me back with her smile. She won't be there...

-

_Never thought  
This day would come so soon  
We had no time to say goodbye  
How can the world just carry on?  
I feel so lost when you are not by my side  
But there's nothing but silence now  
Around the one I loved  
Is this our farewell? _

_-_

I hated the funeral. I admit it, I felt almost...helpless...watching her be slowly buried in dirt. I don't like thinking about it. Her; well, her body, that's only just an empty corpse but it's _still_ her...just lying in the dirt slowly decomposing. I'm scared...I really don't know how I'll live without her...we need her...

-

_All of my memories  
Keep you near  
In silent moments  
Imagine you'd be here  
All of my memories  
Keep you near  
The silent whispers, silent tears _

_-_

I wish I could just cry like Al does. It probably would make me feel better. But I'm the older brother, I have to be strong, right? Right...it's hard to not let them fall. Like, I cried one or two tears, and it makes me feel bad that I don't cry more, but I just can't. I really don't want to cry...

-

_But all these thing are careless things  
I want them  
But always night, I close my eyes  
I want to run  
Run to you...in dreams _

-

I want her back so badly. Every night I have dreams...or...nightmares...something...when I sleep, and I imagine her and us together like it used to be. And every time she leaves us again, and it hurts more and more each time and I always wake up crying. I hate this, I want her back so much...I miss her...

-

_If tears could build a stairway  
And memories a lane  
I'd walk up to heaven  
And bring you home again_

-

I really can't stand this. And I bet Al feels the same way. Everyday, right after school, we'd both go into the cemetery and put new flowers on her grave. We can't just leave it bare...sometimes we talk to her though. When we do, I feel this tight feeling in my chest, like my heart's being crushed. I want to talk to her for real.

-

_My god had it right  
For you tonight  
And you will see  
And you will see us...again_

-

I've started thinking more about alchemy...science is always the answer to things afterall. And I know I have read something about a homunculus...I know its a forbidden alchemy, but its worth a try. I really think Al and I would be able to do it, and bring her back. Things will be better if she was alive again...okay...I've decided. I'm going to tell Al today.

-  
_Give me a reason to believe that you're gone  
I see your shadow so I know they're all wrong  
Moonlight on the soft brown earth  
It leads me to where you lay  
They took you away from me but now I'm taking you home_

-

I'll see you again soon Mom...

---

**-Owari**

**Thanks for reading. n.n Please review!**

_© Copyright 2007 Ayumi Elric (FanFiction ID 1136837 ). All rights reserved. The series Full Metal Alchemist(Hagane No Renkinjutsushi) belongs fully to Himoru Arakawa; usage of her series and character is entirely borrowed. The song lyrics(in order of appearance); Angels Fall First by Nightwish, My Last Breath by Evanescence, Our Farewell by Within Temptation, Memories by Within Temptation, Memories Of You by Waiting For Autumm, the poem Tears and Memories by Keakachan (A.k.a. Mayuna of fanfiction) and the song lyrics of Even In Death by Evanescence belong fully to their creators. All rights reserved for plot, not to be stolen, copied or reproduced without the permission of Ayumi Elric._


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